The thought of being blind always used to haunt me and I think it will for the rest of my life. In a way this is a bad thing but, in a way I have become immune. I understand that this may sound odd but the constant fear of being alone follows me as physically I feel like there is nothing there even though I know there is but then there is the feeling of being alone in life surrounded by fully sighted people. I really want to say that this distant feeling will leave me but I believe it won’t and I think if I let it consume me then it will make me feel very bitter. The feeling of wanting something so badly and not having it is overwhelming. I have no other words to describe it as I feel so empty about it. I think if I try to put emotion into it then it becomes more real and I cry.
“Feeling alone in a room full of people”
The reality of being blind sometimes isn’t complete darkness for some people. I have piercing bright lights in my eyes every day of my life. They wake me up early every morning and always leave me with a headache at the end of every day. When people think blind they think blackness but my retina is trying to reattach itself everyday which causes bright lights in my vision blocking out what’s in front of me. Sometimes I just wish it would all just be completely black so I didn’t have the headaches but I still have the 10% bit of my sight that needs the light so I am stuck with the brightness. Yes, it sounds like I am complaining, and I am. I think there are worse things to complain about like world peace and global warming but it’s all relative.